Well, I suppose it's fitting that Carrie is the first book I get to read and discuss, because it not only is the SK book that I have read the most amount of times, but it is also the one that brutally reminds me of my own school experiences. Growing up, I was always the kid who was so desperate to fit in with others, but never could. I only ever had girls for friends, because the boys all thought I was too much of a "sissy", and I was never into things like sports. I remember one time in the 3rd grade, when my teacher, Mrs. Nigri, called my mother in for a conference to discuss my "social development" (or lack thereof). My mother was quite defensive when my teacher suggested that I start to try to participate in sports activities to "toughen me up". My mother told Mrs. Nigri that I was doing just fine, and would not be forced into participating in activities that I was not interested in. I don't really know the exact conversation that transpired, but in the end I think it pretty much amounted to my mother telling my teacher to "piss off". If it was one thing you could always count on my mother for, it was for defending her children. And I did appreciate how she stood up to Mrs. Nigri, even at that time.
But none the less, I still got picked on incessantly. Through elementary school, I remember getting "pantsed" while playing on the jungle gym. Everyone either referred to me as a "girly girl", or as I got older, a "fag". It reached its pinnacle in the dreaded "Middle School Years". I dreaded even going to school at all during the 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. Some of the worst times were just spent on the bus going to and from school. There was this one guy, whose name totally escapes me now, who would sit in the seat behind me, and continously "gleek" into my hair (for those who don't know, "gleeking" is when you shoot spit through your teeth in quick spraying spurts). I would just sit there ignoring it, with my face buried in a book (I think I was reading It during most of that time). One time, in the 8th grade, someone even went so far as to put a sewing needle into the handle of my locker, so that it stabbed me when I went to open the door.
Kids can be real motherfuckers, can't they.
I was quite lucky, though. Two things happened during the later part of the 8th grade, that helped me find my self confidence. Some of my girl friends convinced me to come to an audition for a local youth production of "Godspell". I had done some choir, but never any acting before. I auditioned, and somehow got cast in the lead role. All of a sudden, I was the popular one. I had friends, and people started to see me as their social equal. I even had some high school guys come backstage after the show, to make sure that I would be audtioning for the high school shows next year. It was a feeling that I had never had before. The second thing that happened to boost my confidence was the realization that I was gay. While for a lot of kids, this could have been a harsh realization, for me it was empowering. I realized that I did "belong", just not with the crowd that I had always wanted to belong to.
I started my freshman year of high school as a new person. Not many people picked on me anymore. The ones that did, I just laughed off. Somehow I escaped being the class scapegoat. But never have I forgotton those early childhood days. Never have I forgotton the feeling of "being" Carrie White. There is a passage from Carrie that always almost makes me cry. It's on page 8 and 9 during the "Plug it up!" scene, when SK is describing all the things that the kids have done to her over the years again and again and again. "Gut wrenching" is really the term for how it makes me feel when I remember those days.
Would I have brought down bloody murderous destruction on the kids who teased and taunted me if I had had Carrie's powers? Like Carrie, I don't really think I would have had much choice in the matter.
It bears repeating, kids can be real motherfuckers.
But none the less, I still got picked on incessantly. Through elementary school, I remember getting "pantsed" while playing on the jungle gym. Everyone either referred to me as a "girly girl", or as I got older, a "fag". It reached its pinnacle in the dreaded "Middle School Years". I dreaded even going to school at all during the 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. Some of the worst times were just spent on the bus going to and from school. There was this one guy, whose name totally escapes me now, who would sit in the seat behind me, and continously "gleek" into my hair (for those who don't know, "gleeking" is when you shoot spit through your teeth in quick spraying spurts). I would just sit there ignoring it, with my face buried in a book (I think I was reading It during most of that time). One time, in the 8th grade, someone even went so far as to put a sewing needle into the handle of my locker, so that it stabbed me when I went to open the door.
Kids can be real motherfuckers, can't they.
I was quite lucky, though. Two things happened during the later part of the 8th grade, that helped me find my self confidence. Some of my girl friends convinced me to come to an audition for a local youth production of "Godspell". I had done some choir, but never any acting before. I auditioned, and somehow got cast in the lead role. All of a sudden, I was the popular one. I had friends, and people started to see me as their social equal. I even had some high school guys come backstage after the show, to make sure that I would be audtioning for the high school shows next year. It was a feeling that I had never had before. The second thing that happened to boost my confidence was the realization that I was gay. While for a lot of kids, this could have been a harsh realization, for me it was empowering. I realized that I did "belong", just not with the crowd that I had always wanted to belong to.
I started my freshman year of high school as a new person. Not many people picked on me anymore. The ones that did, I just laughed off. Somehow I escaped being the class scapegoat. But never have I forgotton those early childhood days. Never have I forgotton the feeling of "being" Carrie White. There is a passage from Carrie that always almost makes me cry. It's on page 8 and 9 during the "Plug it up!" scene, when SK is describing all the things that the kids have done to her over the years again and again and again. "Gut wrenching" is really the term for how it makes me feel when I remember those days.
Would I have brought down bloody murderous destruction on the kids who teased and taunted me if I had had Carrie's powers? Like Carrie, I don't really think I would have had much choice in the matter.
It bears repeating, kids can be real motherfuckers.
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